When faced with ones own weakness, selfishness and arrogance, the enormity of it is too much too absorb.
Too painful.
It’s all too much.
Belief systems are compromised.
Collateral damage abound.
To live with knowledge that actions hurt people who have had your back…that have always been in your corner…that have always been your staunchest supporters and defenders…that have been your quiet harbor in a world full of stormy seas…that have shown you such love…is…crushing…
The reality of it all…is…crushing…
I love you E.
I love you my sons.
I’m sorry.
And sorry doesn’t begin to cover it.
Not even remotely.
And it can’t ever really encapsulate it.
…and thank you.
For being everything important…and good…and safe…in a world full of stormy seas….even when I don’t see it…or did my best to destroy it.
(to everyone else, normal posting to resume shortly)
